My aim is simple. Life is just not fun enough. I have therefore embarked on the arduous task of making your life more fun. Be thankful - its hard work for me.

Thursday 3 June 2010

Toilet Rolls By Appointment to The Queen

The other day, I couldn't help noticing that the packet of toilet rolls I was currently using were, apparently, used by the Queen. Now, I don't mean to be all big-headed about this, but I can truly say that I have royal connections.

I know you wouldn't like me to mislead you about such important matters, so here is a brief description. On the left hand panel of the packet, there is a little crest (which I presume to be the royal coat of arms), and the following paragraph.

"BY APPOINTMENT TO HER MAJESTY THE QUEEN MANUFACTURERS OF DISPOSABLE TISSUES XXXXCOMPANY, KENT"

I don't know about you, but if I was the Queen, I would probably put my royal name to something other than toilet tissue. Maybe a jewellery firm, or furniture makers, or anything else for that matter.

In fact, I might even go so far as to say that I would be slightly offended if the PR manager phoned me up to ask if I was a user of their toilet rolls. It's not as if the Queen spends each day wondering which company she would like to use on the toilet, is it?

At least they had the decency to call them "disposable tissues", not bog rolls.

Wednesday 2 June 2010

Cat door fail

Parking Fail


Fairy Fail


New Page: Videos

Just to let everyone know that I have created a new page: Videos. Here I will be collecting the funniest videos from accross the web, and showing them on one page. Please note: I have not created any of these videos - full credit is due to the makers.

Here's the first video

Never Trust The 'tinternet'

The affectionately called tinternet. The foundation of all things brilliant, especially this blog. The basis of social networking. The home of the email. The source of all knowledge. The answer to all questions.

Or maybe not.

Along with the many help sites, how-to's, yahoo answers, and wiki's, there seems to be a growing number of horribly rubbish answers.

People who seem to get a kick out of misleading the gullable [and, believe me, there are plently of those around]; the generally stupid, who think they're right; and the morons who don't know the answer to anything anyway.

Now we can't all be modern Einsteins, but it would help if those who don't know the answer would keep their trap shut. Until they know the answer. Then feel free to shout it from the rooftops. Which you probably will do. I would.

Anyway, the point of this entertaining post is to warn you of the growing threat of the internet. Not viruses. Not phishing ["hey, I think I caught a trout"]. Not cyber-bullying. Not fraud. Nope.

Misinformation.

Anyone can write anything on the tinternet. Anyone can write the wrong answers on the tinternet.

So next time you're looking up cheats for that pesky new xBox game, make sure you look in the right place.

There, that wasn't so hard, was it?

Tuesday 1 June 2010

A Train Journey

As I write this, I am sitting on a train, on the way to my relatives. Nothing wrong with that.

Apart from the train and the people on it.

To start off with, the train companies feel obliged to make sure that you are crammed as close to each other as possible (unfortunately, they seem to have forgotten that atoms do take up a specified amount of room).

Also, there seems to be a tax on leg room. I don't know if the government have suddenly decided that leg room is a great way to pay off the £6 billion debt, but I can only assume so.

Because, at this very moment in time, my knee is pressed against the underside of the table, my shin is getting crushed next to the heater, my ankle is at 90 degrees to where it should, and my thigh is on an impossible position.

Don't ask me what the seat's like