My aim is simple. Life is just not fun enough. I have therefore embarked on the arduous task of making your life more fun. Be thankful - its hard work for me.

Saturday 29 May 2010

My own Saturn V rocket

I have recently made a rather suprising discovery. Hidden away, behind the half finished lemonade cans, the onion skins that have somehow found the many crevices that no Hoover can get to, and the mounds of dust caked biscuit crumbs, is a Saturn V rocket. 

This may suprise you, as a Saturn V rocket is rather a big thing to find in a kitchen.

Well, I've found one. The engine at least. 

You see, my washing machine makes such a noise that my Dad has started dishing out ear-plugs. It really is becoming slightly unbearable.

Quite a lot, actually. 

Last time I heard it going, I was half way down the road on the way to school, and thought I'd heard an explosion. Then I remembered. Aagh yes, I thought, the washing machine.

The sequence of noises are as follows:
Grrmmmphh
Brrrrrghhg
Duff duff duff duff
Bmmbbmmbbmm
Clngggggclggg

And finally:
BANG

As I kick it.
   

Wednesday 26 May 2010

Science is sometimes stupid - use of alliteration or what?..

I was watching Dr. Who the other day, and it occured to me what a lifestyle he has. Not only can he wizz off about the Universe, but he has total freedom to do whatever he wants. If he upsets a couple of monsters, no worries mate, i'll just escape with my 'bigger in the inside' tardis. If he breaks a few laws, hey who cares? I'm the Dr. However, this occured to me.. I am currently taking a Science GCSE. (Please don't get bored). Can you gues what topic we're doing now?

Go on.

No.

No.

No, your still wrong. I'll have to tell you. Radiation and the UNIVERSE. Do you realise? I'm soon going to be cleverer than the Dr., cleverer than Gordon Brown (who, I've just realised, can't count), cleverer than anyone. I'm learning the Universe. This is a bit of a double whammy, since radiation seems to be a bit of a big thing to learn in a few weeks, let alone black holes, gravity, quantum physics, light, you, me, everything in the Universe.

The Universe.

I can see I'm going to have to write a thesis.

I'm going to be a MILLIONAIRE.

Hang on. I'm not the only one to have this privalidge. There are 120 kids I know who are going to rival me - the brightest kids in the world.

We know the Universe.

My brain is going to explode.

Last out of class

Don't worry, I know you're fed up with blogs spilling the auther's life story into your lap like some kind of leporic cat, so I will attempt to liven up my version. I started the day with a growing uneasiness about the humungus problem of the 'almost at half term' scenario. It has almost fallen upon us, and there are a number of reasons why this is not a good thing. Teachers deciding to leave you for a week with a though of how nice they are, not piling on the homework.

I wish

Yup, you guessed it. "Your half term homework...", "So, what I want you to do over half term is...", "Thanks for reminding me X, over half term...", and the most tantalisingly close glimpse of freedom came crashing to the floor with "So that's it for todays lesson, and I hope you have a great half term. Oh, wait, I alomost forgot, over half term, what I want you to do is..." Thankfully, there seemed to be a sense of telepathic communication floating through the classroom, with the general inclination to

RUNNNN

Only 2 were left in the room, so the escapees held a memorial service for the great duties they had done for their mates, holding the door and being tramplled by the migrating herds.

It was with great reverance that their names were remembered in the fraction-of-a-second between pointing and laughing, and belting at full speed to the canteen before the thousands of Year 7s made it before us.

Their numbers are reaching the peak of sanity.

Oh dear.

My First Post

Hi guys, this is my first blog, so bear with me. When I decided to start blogging, I wondered what to begin blogging ABOUT. This is quite a decision to make when you are only a teenager, so I sat down, switched on, and started thinking. Should I do it on cars? No - there are too many blogs out there, and this was gardly original. Should I do it on my life? No - again not original. This steady stream of thoughts began to process through my brain (it was hurting now - must have been the biggest amount of thinking I have ever done), unit I decided to blog about something that there is not enough of today. Fun.

WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

There, it felt better that didn't it.

Told you.

So here we go, sit back and enjoy the ride as I begin to teach you all how to laugh again. It seems most of you have fogotten..