Friday Favs #4

AAAARRRGGGHHH its Friday 13th guys!! Unlucky for some... Anyway, here's this week's Friday Favourite: Allergic?...

I'm gonna sue you cos you said I'm crap

I read on yahoo news a while back that a woman who went on stage in Britain's Got Talent is going to sue them, because they called her rubbish.

Now I don't mean to be rude, but they were right. And isn't that the whole point of the program? To laugh your ass off at someone making a complete fool of themselves? Or am I missing the point somewhere...

Anyway, I really hope that she doesn't get any compensation. Not only because the presenters were only telling her what everyone else was thinking. Not just because the program would have to get every subsequent congruent to sign a form, saying that they agree not to sue the presenters, directors, window cleaners, sound people, or the person who last cleaned the floor; for any reason whatsoever. Or because I think she's wrong. But because if she does win, this will happen:

• It will set a precedent for future cases
• It will give one of the annoying (and plain wrong) no-win-no-fee suing jerks a real win
• The program will stop broadcasting, so we won't be able to laugh at some imbecile hopping around on one leg, while juggling fire, and riding a unicycle.

Only cos I'm jealous.

Make life easier: don't think

I was in for a shock when I Iogged into my computer account at school this morning. Or rather, TRIED to log in.

"Login denied. You have been locked out of your account. Please contact a network administrator." was the cheerful message designed to brighten up my day.

So, as I was traipsing up the stairs to the ICT dep., I began to wonder why I had been locked out. The usual reasons for an admin locking you out at school is one of the following: you have been playing too many online games [yep] / you have entered a virus onto the IT system [don't think so] / your 'friends' have tried to guess your password too many times [probably]. So, with a 1 out of 3 score, my chances were looking pretty slim.

It was with a heavy heart that I summoned up the strength to knock on the door. "Oh, sorry mate, I'll just reset your password for you"

I could have hugged him. I didn't. Instead I mustered up a world-weary grin, and thanked him.

It just goes to show - life is an awful lot easier if you don't think.

Man found starved in desert surrounded by packets of food

It is only a matter of time before the above headline appears in one of the newspapers. Have you tried going on a desert exploration with a couple of packets of nuts, and some beans? Obviously not. You're still alive to read this.

I'm not sure the harsh reality of this crazy situation has quite been realised yet. I bought a chocolate bar as a little treat for myself. I tried to open it. Tear at the seam? No. Pull the heat sealed halves apart? No. Bite the end off? Nope. Get your fingernail under the hopeless little flap? No.

I resorted to cutting it open with a pair of scissors.

So, as I was out, I bought a pair. Brilliant packet design. You need a pair of scissors to open the packet of a pair of scissors. I'm sure there's an irony in there somewhere.

So I bought a knife to chop the packet open. Sealed packet. Penknife? Plastic seal. In the end I resorted to the stone age method. I grabbed a Flint and scratched away at the packet containing the chocolate bar.

"So what?" you ask yourselves. I'll tell you.

This is simply another example of the short-sightedness of the current population of humanity. No forward thinking.

Which is why the olympics are being hosted in the UK.

Friday Favs #3

Sorry, but this really was funny...

Moral high-ground?

Another older post guys.. Hopefully this is the last I have forgotton. (Btw, its the 5th of the 5th wooo)..
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The time has come when the applications for Head Boy and Head Girl come flooding in. Or more to the point, are sent by me. [yeah, haha not the one for Head Girl]

Anyway, we've had the interview, the team building excercises etc. and now we just have to find out who's been selected. We were going to find out on Friday according to the letter. Friday, according to the headmaster when he 'interviewed' us. Friday, according to some guy who asked him during Fridays lunchtime. Yeah? Well it's Tuesday now.

Can you guess what the requirements are? Good attendence, punctuality, reliability, and many more ...ility words.

Funny, that.

No entry to dirty hands

Yup, it's time for another signs post. This time it's the 'No entry to dirty hands' sign that is lucky enough to be talked about (if you have anything you would like me to blog about, please type it into the bar in the sidebar somewhere, or contact me).

I'm sure you've all seen it. There is a picture (the kind you'd expect to find in cave drawings - you know the type) of a man with a big grubby hand stretched out toward you. There is also a big red circle with a line through it, showing, if I'm not mistaken, that people with dirty hands are not allowed access.

The real meaning? No access to unauthorised personnel. Yeah right.

I'm suprised they don't have to have an arrow pointing to the nearest wash-room.