Friday 29 April 2011
Thursday 28 April 2011
Poetry sucks
Ok guys, I've done all my English GCSE Coursework. 'Yeah, good for you. So what?' you're thinking
Well, now I've finished, I have the wonderful treat of doing poetry. Now, for all you poetic freaks out there, yes poetry can be quite good at times.
Unfortunately not this time.
We've got a whole anthology to basically learn off by heart, a massive load of annotations to do, and god knows what else.
'where does this relate to me?' I hear you asking. Well, back in the middle ages, people who liked poetry were allowed to get on with it; without shoving it down everybody else's throat. Including mine.
Yup, these days we all feel obliged to sit straight and kill our manly sides slowly, 'cos it's polite.
And I don't know why either. If we were all honest, and told people what we really thought, they'd stop feeding it to us like baby food.
Yum, yum [extreme sarcasm]
Roll on the time machine
Well, now I've finished, I have the wonderful treat of doing poetry. Now, for all you poetic freaks out there, yes poetry can be quite good at times.
Unfortunately not this time.
We've got a whole anthology to basically learn off by heart, a massive load of annotations to do, and god knows what else.
'where does this relate to me?' I hear you asking. Well, back in the middle ages, people who liked poetry were allowed to get on with it; without shoving it down everybody else's throat. Including mine.
Yup, these days we all feel obliged to sit straight and kill our manly sides slowly, 'cos it's polite.
And I don't know why either. If we were all honest, and told people what we really thought, they'd stop feeding it to us like baby food.
Yum, yum [extreme sarcasm]
Roll on the time machine
Wednesday 27 April 2011
Tate modern
A while back, I went to Tate modern.
Unsuprisingly, I hadn't planned on visiting it, it just sort of happened. Well, not quite. But I'll explain this in my next post. If I remember.
When I turned up on the doorstep, there was a little exhibition to the side. So I went in.
It was quite good actually, it was based on star wars - but that's not the point. I thought it was quite good, and I planned on doing something about it as part of my art project at school [yep. I'm afraid I haven't escaped the clutches of our education system yet. Not for quite a while]. Of course, I never got round to it.
So I went inside, expecting something the same kind of quality. How wrong could I be?
To be fair, there were at least 4 pieces out of the seemingly millions that were quite good. Maybe.
My favorite just had to be the picture I found upstairs. I forget it's name now, but it's description was brilliant. In place of the norml 'oil on canvas', or the slightly more unusual 'acrylic on wood' was a caption saying 'mirror on canvas' - I quote exactly.
Yup, that's right folks, I was looking at a mirror. Stuck on a bit of cloth. I wouldn't mind, but they hadn't even painted the edges of it.
However, this was just one of many beautiful pieces of modern 'art', closely followed by a canvas with a tear in the middle, and the black canvas with a brush hair and dust.
Annotated.
The only thing that annoys me is that the superb artist on the river bank, painting the bridge, doesn't earn a penny for most his stuff.
And his is better.
Unsuprisingly, I hadn't planned on visiting it, it just sort of happened. Well, not quite. But I'll explain this in my next post. If I remember.
When I turned up on the doorstep, there was a little exhibition to the side. So I went in.
It was quite good actually, it was based on star wars - but that's not the point. I thought it was quite good, and I planned on doing something about it as part of my art project at school [yep. I'm afraid I haven't escaped the clutches of our education system yet. Not for quite a while]. Of course, I never got round to it.
So I went inside, expecting something the same kind of quality. How wrong could I be?
To be fair, there were at least 4 pieces out of the seemingly millions that were quite good. Maybe.
My favorite just had to be the picture I found upstairs. I forget it's name now, but it's description was brilliant. In place of the norml 'oil on canvas', or the slightly more unusual 'acrylic on wood' was a caption saying 'mirror on canvas' - I quote exactly.
Yup, that's right folks, I was looking at a mirror. Stuck on a bit of cloth. I wouldn't mind, but they hadn't even painted the edges of it.
However, this was just one of many beautiful pieces of modern 'art', closely followed by a canvas with a tear in the middle, and the black canvas with a brush hair and dust.
Annotated.
The only thing that annoys me is that the superb artist on the river bank, painting the bridge, doesn't earn a penny for most his stuff.
And his is better.
Tuesday 26 April 2011
Umbrella sign
There are many signs that will eventually be lucky enough to be discussed in this blog, and this time it's the 'man having trouble with umbrella' sign's turn. Lucky it.
I'm sure you've all seen it. There is a triangular black splodge in the bottom left corner with a stick poking out of it, and a man holding it.
He is obviousely in distress - he is unfurling his umbrella into the ground - last time I checked, it was solid.
The real meaning? Warning: Road works. Yeah right.
Even Paddington Bear agrees with me.
I'm sure you've all seen it. There is a triangular black splodge in the bottom left corner with a stick poking out of it, and a man holding it.
He is obviousely in distress - he is unfurling his umbrella into the ground - last time I checked, it was solid.
The real meaning? Warning: Road works. Yeah right.
Even Paddington Bear agrees with me.
Monday 25 April 2011
WARNING: Dont crash into this sign!
I was on the way to school, as I so often am in these posts, when I passed a road works sign on the right hand side of the road.
Well, to say 'a' sign is a slight lie. I passed a jumble of every sign in the least way relevent to the hole in the Tarmac.
Here is my best guess as to what the signs meant. Pedestrians: go on the right hand pavement. Cars: one lane closed. Cars: one lane merged into other. Cars: no temporary traffic lights. Warning: don't drive or fall into this hole. Warning: man having trouble with umbrella [more on that later]. Cats: don't climb in and get stuck. Dogs: don't chase cats into here. Etc.
Less than 4 feet was actually taken out of the drivable space, the road was a dead end anyway, and any pedestrian stupid enough to climb over the safety barrier and fall in deserves what they get.
I wouldn't mind if the hole was more than 10 cm deep.
Well, to say 'a' sign is a slight lie. I passed a jumble of every sign in the least way relevent to the hole in the Tarmac.
Here is my best guess as to what the signs meant. Pedestrians: go on the right hand pavement. Cars: one lane closed. Cars: one lane merged into other. Cars: no temporary traffic lights. Warning: don't drive or fall into this hole. Warning: man having trouble with umbrella [more on that later]. Cats: don't climb in and get stuck. Dogs: don't chase cats into here. Etc.
Less than 4 feet was actually taken out of the drivable space, the road was a dead end anyway, and any pedestrian stupid enough to climb over the safety barrier and fall in deserves what they get.
I wouldn't mind if the hole was more than 10 cm deep.
Friday 22 April 2011
Thursday 21 April 2011
Well, we really are lost
On the way to school this morning, I saw a highway maintenance van take a right-hand turn down a side street.
30 seconds later, I saw it reverse back out again at high speed again. It then proceeded to speed up to a traffic warden, and stop.
Intregued, I did a Sherlock Holmes, and pretended that my school had miraculously teleported itself to the end of that road.
In other words, I went and had an earwig. They were asking for directions!
We know that there's something wrong with our road system the minute a highway maintenance van asks you where the nearest depot is.
30 seconds later, I saw it reverse back out again at high speed again. It then proceeded to speed up to a traffic warden, and stop.
Intregued, I did a Sherlock Holmes, and pretended that my school had miraculously teleported itself to the end of that road.
In other words, I went and had an earwig. They were asking for directions!
We know that there's something wrong with our road system the minute a highway maintenance van asks you where the nearest depot is.
Wednesday 20 April 2011
Why can't we all eat like chefs
I was watching a cooking program the other day, although I won't name who, and was interested by the words used.
The host was explaining how healthy the desert dish was. While pouring maple syrup all over it. When finished, she then proceeded to explain that the dish contained no added sugar.
Um, I'm pretty sure that maple syrup contains some suger.
Quite a lot a actually - what else is in it?
Anyway - my point is this. What if health was purely an opinion. What if thinking something was bad for me actually made it bad for me. What if thinking something was good for me actually made it good for me.
Great, I can finish that chocolate bar now :-).
The host was explaining how healthy the desert dish was. While pouring maple syrup all over it. When finished, she then proceeded to explain that the dish contained no added sugar.
Um, I'm pretty sure that maple syrup contains some suger.
Quite a lot a actually - what else is in it?
Anyway - my point is this. What if health was purely an opinion. What if thinking something was bad for me actually made it bad for me. What if thinking something was good for me actually made it good for me.
Great, I can finish that chocolate bar now :-).
Monday 18 April 2011
Here's how this is going to work:
Ok guys, no doubt you have realised that this blog has only just really got off the ground. Nevertheless, it is now up and running. This blog now has a YouTube account (check it out @ www.YouTube.com/user/LifeAsFunAsThis ). On this I will post a video roughly outlining what will happen in tomorrows edition. Don't forget to check it out for sneak previews, hints and tips; and what will soon be happening. I am willing to try setting up a members section, as soon as I cam see it working.
Now for the blogs. No doubt there will be a couple of weeks where posts are weekly, but the plan is as follows:
• On Monday: I will write a witty post
• On Tuesday: I will write a witty post
• On Wednesday: I will write a witty post
• On Thursday: I will write a witty post
• On Friday: Friday Favourites
• And I will have the weekend off! =D
What are...?
•Friday Favourites: every Friday I will re-post a popular edition to the blog. This will have been either voted by you, or decided by me. Who needs a democracy?!
Thanks for the waves of good luck I feel radiating out towards me, and please point your friends to this blog (www.Life-As-Fun-As-This.blogspot.com); our YouTube channel where nothing happens, (www.YouTube.com/user/LifeAsFunAsThis); and post links all over the place - social networking, texts, emails, etc.
DON'T FORGET - THIS BLOG WILL CRUMBLE AND FALL WITHOUT YOUR SUPPORT
=P
Now for the blogs. No doubt there will be a couple of weeks where posts are weekly, but the plan is as follows:
• On Monday: I will write a witty post
• On Tuesday: I will write a witty post
• On Wednesday: I will write a witty post
• On Thursday: I will write a witty post
• On Friday: Friday Favourites
• And I will have the weekend off! =D
What are...?
•Friday Favourites: every Friday I will re-post a popular edition to the blog. This will have been either voted by you, or decided by me. Who needs a democracy?!
Thanks for the waves of good luck I feel radiating out towards me, and please point your friends to this blog (www.Life-As-Fun-As-This.blogspot.com); our YouTube channel where nothing happens, (www.YouTube.com/user/LifeAsFunAsThis); and post links all over the place - social networking, texts, emails, etc.
DON'T FORGET - THIS BLOG WILL CRUMBLE AND FALL WITHOUT YOUR SUPPORT
=P
Sunday 17 April 2011
Friday 15 April 2011
Health and safety with food
As you will learn to realise, I hate health and safety. That's why there's a label just for it. Privelidged or what?
This episode will focus on the stupid little labels they contaminate our food with.
After all, who would have guessed that someone allergic to celery could have an allergic reaction if they ate a packet of celery? Huh?
No. Seriously.
On an online food ordering website, one of the supermarkets, I was in the process of reading the product description, as one does, and I came accross this: [bear in mind that this is a paket of celery] "WARNING! Do not consume if you are allergic to celery."
I'm sorry, but if someone was THAT stupid, I think they would probably have already died by now.
This episode will focus on the stupid little labels they contaminate our food with.
After all, who would have guessed that someone allergic to celery could have an allergic reaction if they ate a packet of celery? Huh?
No. Seriously.
On an online food ordering website, one of the supermarkets, I was in the process of reading the product description, as one does, and I came accross this: [bear in mind that this is a paket of celery] "WARNING! Do not consume if you are allergic to celery."
I'm sorry, but if someone was THAT stupid, I think they would probably have already died by now.
Thursday 14 April 2011
Give me a hand!!
Guys, I could really do with a hand here - spread the word of this blog to your friends, and get the views up!!
Thanks!
Government will always lose
Yup, I live in the united kingdom. Yup, we have a coalition government. Yup, I know the last lot were pretty bad. Yup, I know that this lot will end up being just as bad.
You see, the government will always lose. Even if they decide to turn it into a pinky-and-perky showcase.
If they lower tax for the poor, the rich will be alienated, and go away. If they lower tax for the rich, the miners will come out on strike, and we'll all realise how many mines margaret thature turned into empty pits.
If they end the recession, Gordon will be able to come out and say how well he'd safeguarded our monetary resources (or some other non-meaning sentence of worth).
Of they give in to the inevitable two tailed recession, Gordon will be able to come out and say how right he'd been about the 'double-dip recession'.
Which is why you should vote me in.
Ok?
You see, the government will always lose. Even if they decide to turn it into a pinky-and-perky showcase.
If they lower tax for the poor, the rich will be alienated, and go away. If they lower tax for the rich, the miners will come out on strike, and we'll all realise how many mines margaret thature turned into empty pits.
If they end the recession, Gordon will be able to come out and say how well he'd safeguarded our monetary resources (or some other non-meaning sentence of worth).
Of they give in to the inevitable two tailed recession, Gordon will be able to come out and say how right he'd been about the 'double-dip recession'.
Which is why you should vote me in.
Ok?
Games?
Just to let you guys know that at some point I'm going to try adding a couple of games I've made on a 'Games' page. Any ideas? Let me know.
Wednesday 13 April 2011
Why is apple perfect?
Ok, so I'm wrong again.
A while back, apples ipad was released, and I must admit that I was with the critics saying that it was simply an oversized iPod touch. I was right.
Until I tried it.
Well, I still am to some extent. It is simply a larger iPod touch. The feeling is of a new kind of machine - one only recently know to man.
Basically, it's pretty good.
I need two.
A while back, apples ipad was released, and I must admit that I was with the critics saying that it was simply an oversized iPod touch. I was right.
Until I tried it.
Well, I still am to some extent. It is simply a larger iPod touch. The feeling is of a new kind of machine - one only recently know to man.
Basically, it's pretty good.
I need two.
Allergic to nuts? Don't eat.
It often occurrs to me how grateful I ought to be that I am not allergic to any food type. I looked on the back of a seemingly harmless, if moreish, tub of crab paste, and encountered this gibberish:
"Recipe: No nuts. Factory: No nuts. Ingredients: Cannot guarentee nut free."
I ask you. How on earth do you srvive if you have a serious nut allergy? As far as I can see, the only way the minced crab I was eating somehow contained a nut is if it ate one while scrabling around on the sea floor.
Another example of health and safety [and being afraid of getting sued] gone mad.
"Recipe: No nuts. Factory: No nuts. Ingredients: Cannot guarentee nut free."
I ask you. How on earth do you srvive if you have a serious nut allergy? As far as I can see, the only way the minced crab I was eating somehow contained a nut is if it ate one while scrabling around on the sea floor.
Another example of health and safety [and being afraid of getting sued] gone mad.
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